Lack of sleep? Head injury? Maybe it's just me.

Last night at work I did so much reading.
It was really cool.

I've been thinking a lot about myself lately. Once my mother told me that she and my father always thought I was weird. Not in a mean way, just in the truthful way. I've been thinking a lot about the things I care/don't care about. And my mother and father are totally right.

I just wrote a blog about the three parts of a proper apology, according to Randy Pausch, and what I thought about it. I read it, and I couldn't publish it. I thought to myself, "People are going to read this, think I'm a bad person, and never accept an apology from me again." So I tried once again to convey the same idea through a different subject, and the same thing happened.

I was talking with my friend, Dave, about writing the other night. I explained how I am trying to write this piece, and I have everything worked for how and what I want to happen, but I can't write it. My problem is the truth, it's laced all through my current idea. I can't help but feel that if anyone that inspired any of these truths were to read it, they would know it for exactly what it was, and probably be pissed off. I shouldn't worry, seeing as I don't even talk to most of those people anymore, much less would I let them read my writing(most of the don't read). Dave pointed out that that is just the way writing is(I know that, but hearing out loud was good too), and that you just reach a point where you say fuck it, and do it anyway. I never had this problem before, not to say that previous writing was any less hurtfully truthful(going back to the things I care/don't care about). During the discussion I did work out a way to finally begin my piece, and once I get some flow going, I'm sure I will stop caring what anyone thinks and return to my normal self.

I guess my point might be lost in there, I think I'm trying to say that over all I feel I just don't work the way most people do, and I notice it more and more lately. I'm weird.