Currently in the life of James:

Stress.

Let us begin with a story of aftermath. As many of you know (probably all of you, Sean, Jessica, and Mom) I got a pretty sweet head injury a couple years back. Fucked up my head pretty good. I was told to expect problems with memory, but after a good deal of time spent healing, I rarely noticed anything. Lately though, with the repetition of how the majority of my days go, I notice. My short term will not last long term. On a daily basis, I say again, daily basis, I take the R-W from 14th to Prince. 2 stops. 8th st, then Prince. And everyday I get to 8th street and say to myself, "one more stop." And again, everyday as the train gets its last legs out of the station I think to myself, "Fuck, did I just miss Prince?" I'd say the amount of time between these two thoughts is about 20-30 seconds. And I really just dont know. I know it happens everyday, but I really just have no idea. "Maybe this time I actually did miss it." And I dont find out until I arrive at Prince.

To continue with this theme, last night at work I was putting out the Sunday paper in front of everyones room for the morning. After I do the 4th floor and go to the 3rd, I can only remember doing half the 4th floor. Did I forget to do the other half? Probably not, but I have NO IDEA. Really, I had to go back up and check, and of course I did the whole floor, I just could not remember it. Im guessing the time span from finishing the floor, and arriving at the next was about a minute. Fantastic.

It has been happening a lot lately that if I am not really paying attention to something, like something that has just become habit, I might just forget it.



Adding to stress. Work fucked me over. Without giving too much detail, because I probably shouldn't, here it is.

They fire the overnight guy, hire a new guy who knows the General Manager, and even after I say no to their request they make me the new overnight guy. Giving the new guy 5 day shifts, and me 3 overnight, and one day shift. Thats right. 4 shifts. This pissed me off to no end. I immediately said I wouldn't do it. I pointed out my obvious seniority over new guy, and that it just wasnt right. My manager did not have me very convinced that it really mattered. So I go to my co-worker/sort of boss and tell him, he flips and starts fighting on my side. And I am going to go to the GM as well to in the "professional" way tell her that its bullshit. Basically, I'm not going to do it. It will get fixed, one way or the other, but it still pisses me off. Which stresses me out.

People die everyday.

I'd like to volunteer someone to be the next to go. I hope I get through all of my emotion in this blog, seeing as how roughly an hour has past since the incident, and I am exhausted. I am sort of frustrated with people right now. Then this happened.

It is like, say, 4:30 AM and a guest is checking out. I have been up since 8AM the previous day, and have been working since 11PM. I am running on lots of coffee, and although I am doing fairly well, I am not in the mood for stupidity. The guest and his wife require a cab going to JFK. Obviously I take their bags and go outside to grab one for them. The guests are still inside finishing up the last of their bill signing and what not. Thank God. I turn to my right to see a man passed out on the benches we have located outside the hotel. He is a fairly well dressed guy. Slacks and a polo, nice haircut. When I put the bags up against the wall he wakes, and sits up. At this point I figure he will realize he is a fucking useless tool on his own, and then get up and go suck at life somewhere else. Nope. He says to me, "I need a cab." Not asking, not just thinking out loud, he is telling me to get him a cab. My mind says, "Go fuck yourself." My mouth says, "Sorry, are you a guest of the hotel?" Obviously he is not, but I have to be careful how I say things. He comes back, "No, Im leaving. I need a taxi." He is still sitting on the bench, still wasted from his night out all alone because he has no friends because this dude seriously sucks dick at everything. At this point I'm wondering if maybe his mother and father just realized he sucked around the age of 3 or 4 and just gave up. I very nicely say, "I'm sorry. I'm busy helping a guest get a taxi." I wait a few minutes, nothing comes. Finally the guests come outside and I ask them to please stay by their luggage while I go up the street to get them a taxi. Douche bag decides to get himself of the bench, and continue to throw his sucking at life qualities at me. He follows me up the street. And then passes me. Stands about 5 feet in front of me, and starts trying to get a taxi. In a tone that says "Hey fuck wad, I hope you drunkenly fall over into traffic." I ask, "What are you doing? You know I'm getting a taxi. Thats just rude." He replies, "Well I am getting one before you. I need to be somewhere!" He throws a look like this is the greatest moment of his life, he has won. He has become the biggest waste of life the world has ever seen. He doesn't need to be anywhere, it's 4:30 in the fucking morning, his job as the assistant manager at fucking McDonalds doesn't start to 9. A taxi comes, it's off duty so it wouldn't go where I needed anyway, so I let him take it without hassle. I just need this fucktard waste of a human being to go away, and get molested by a man with herpes when he passes out in some other public area. He turns to me to let me know that he has beat me, and that he has finally stopped hating himself. (He will start again when he sobers up, he sucks that much.) I let him know he has won. "Congrats, you win. Go pass out somewhere less degrading, loser." And he throws me a big smile. A big gay douche bag smile. I hope his taxi crashes.

Over doing it.

After venting intensely on two different people tonight (three if you count the talk with Sean), and not feeling any better about things, I really think I'm in for a good freak out. People are just simply bothering me lately. I feel like it's all going to come out on the wrong person, it's just building and building up and up, waiting to topple over on some unexpected passerby. This happens every so often, more often than I'd like to admit, that everyday little things that people do pile on top of one another to eventually just make people annoy the hell out of me. (Should you be reading this, Jessica Parker, no this has nothing to do with poker last night, haha.) The real problem, I believe, is that I have yet to find anyone I can really vent to down here. Sean aside, of course. I'm still used to the few friends that I did have back home being so close that I felt comfortable coming to them with anything, even the friends from school that I had only known a short time. I have yet to really have the time to either become that close with anyone, or find anyone to become that close with down here. I know the solution, something will happen that will piss me off the point that I feel I need to do something about it. I will either have found someone to just let out my issues with, or it will come out at the wrong time on the wrong person. Blah Blah Blah. Such is life.

Quit straightening your god damn hair.

Today, in a liquor store, I heard this:

Guy: It's cold.

Girl: Roll down your sleeves.

Guy: But rolling them up keeps the warm air in.

Girl: Guys are stupid.

Maybe he was trying to make a joke. Maybe he was just stupid. Either way, I found it funny.

Bitch bitch, whine whine

Blah Blah Blah. Who cares.

I never thought I'd say this, but...

The new New Found Glory album is more than some catchy thing that I dont like to admit that I like, it is actually good. The hardcore part rules, and the 6 or so typical NFG songs are as good as they ever are. It's just that the hardcore part makes me a little bit more willing to admit that I like them. Thanks Adam.

Things that are cool right NOW.

A: The new B-star episode.

B: Finally being ahead of Sean and Furman in B-star. Empowering.

3: Homemade pizza-bagels.

D: The Rob&Big episode where they get a baby. It's on right now.

5: Twix ice cream bars.

And lastly,

F: Playing Battleship on my phone

Fuck that.

Enough with the waking up early on weekends. Working sucks. I went to bed at 8:30 last night, Saturday. Yes, 8:30, because I was so damn tired. Fuck that.