It is like, say, 4:30 AM and a guest is checking out. I have been up since 8AM the previous day, and have been working since 11PM. I am running on lots of coffee, and although I am doing fairly well, I am not in the mood for stupidity. The guest and his wife require a cab going to JFK. Obviously I take their bags and go outside to grab one for them. The guests are still inside finishing up the last of their bill signing and what not. Thank God. I turn to my right to see a man passed out on the benches we have located outside the hotel. He is a fairly well dressed guy. Slacks and a polo, nice haircut. When I put the bags up against the wall he wakes, and sits up. At this point I figure he will realize he is a fucking useless tool on his own, and then get up and go suck at life somewhere else. Nope. He says to me, "I need a cab." Not asking, not just thinking out loud, he is telling me to get him a cab. My mind says, "Go fuck yourself." My mouth says, "Sorry, are you a guest of the hotel?" Obviously he is not, but I have to be careful how I say things. He comes back, "No, Im leaving. I need a taxi." He is still sitting on the bench, still wasted from his night out all alone because he has no friends because this dude seriously sucks dick at everything. At this point I'm wondering if maybe his mother and father just realized he sucked around the age of 3 or 4 and just gave up. I very nicely say, "I'm sorry. I'm busy helping a guest get a taxi." I wait a few minutes, nothing comes. Finally the guests come outside and I ask them to please stay by their luggage while I go up the street to get them a taxi. Douche bag decides to get himself of the bench, and continue to throw his sucking at life qualities at me. He follows me up the street. And then passes me. Stands about 5 feet in front of me, and starts trying to get a taxi. In a tone that says "Hey fuck wad, I hope you drunkenly fall over into traffic." I ask, "What are you doing? You know I'm getting a taxi. Thats just rude." He replies, "Well I am getting one before you. I need to be somewhere!" He throws a look like this is the greatest moment of his life, he has won. He has become the biggest waste of life the world has ever seen. He doesn't need to be anywhere, it's 4:30 in the fucking morning, his job as the assistant manager at fucking McDonalds doesn't start to 9. A taxi comes, it's off duty so it wouldn't go where I needed anyway, so I let him take it without hassle. I just need this fucktard waste of a human being to go away, and get molested by a man with herpes when he passes out in some other public area. He turns to me to let me know that he has beat me, and that he has finally stopped hating himself. (He will start again when he sobers up, he sucks that much.) I let him know he has won. "Congrats, you win. Go pass out somewhere less degrading, loser." And he throws me a big smile. A big gay douche bag smile. I hope his taxi crashes.
1 comment:
I hate people too.
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