It's story time in blogsville.

Ok, I begin with an edit. My brother just told me what he though, "I liked it more as an outline than a poem." I guess I didn't make it that clear the first time through. This really isn't a poem. Really. It's just kind of structured as if it were. It's my own personal combination of outline and lines I would actually like to use in the story itself. I say again, really not a poem, I just wrote an outline and in my sleepiness it came out structured, with a little bit of flow. So when reading, I guess just look at it as more of an outline, with a little zazz.



So I've been tossing this idea around in my head for a while, some what based off the music of the Gaslight Anthem, and the Song "Brothers" by Brand New. Not so much the music, more so the themes, and the feelings they give me. They inspire a sort of "that was then this is now." 50's kind of Socs and Greasers feel for me.I wrote this down the other night intending to do a summary of what I wanted my story to become and instead wrote a slightly structured poem. This is still basically a summary of what I want to write about, just in a different form.

Shine Your Shoes With Revenge

The summer sun has set
Behind some sinners dark eyes
Now the cold air comes in
Climbs through their bones

As a lover she leans over
To wipe the blood from his jaw
Sorrow fills her lungs
Anger tugs at her soul

The events of this hollow night
Should never be told
Their lies will hide like lost lovers
From forgotten legends

He shakes the blood from his hands
She wipes the tears from her eyes
His knife runs like a crowd
Horror struck from the theater

No applause fills his ears
Just the ringing of his fears
Tonight they call it justice
For a friendship now fallen

His body aches with the thoughts
Of the man it's become
Her sad eyes tell the story
Of the hero she's lost

So yeah. I think it flows pretty well for what it is. I wrote it down the other night, and changed a few things when I put it in here. I think it's a good start for something awesome, and pretty good on its own too. To me it screams seasons, and coming of age(in a dark way), its got fear, faith and love. Tell me your thoughts, what did you get from it? Like it? Hate it? Why?