Who taught you to tie your shoes?

Today Sean came home with some new slippers. LLBean slippers, the kind with a back, kind of like a shoe. They have that leather tie on the front, almost like a lace. It had come undone, and when looking at the other slipper Sean realized he did not know how to tie the knot used on the other slipper. The knot used was what I thought was your basic shoe tying knot, one loop, you wrap it around or something, and then poof. I was shocked to find he couldn't do this, who the hell taught him to tie his shoes? My parents taught me, and I figured since we have the same parents, they taught him as well(adopted?). Why would they teach us differently? I guess he uses the two loop one, I cant do that, too many loops, Im a simple guy. I like my ladies like I like my coffee, strong, black, and proud. And I like my shoes tied with one loop. But thanks to Google, and boredom, I've come to realize that I guess the two loop way is the more commonly used knot. What the hell? This just makes no sense to me. Two loops? When you only need one? Maybe this is why people are greedy. When they were kids they had the option of one loop or two, those who chose two loops are always looking to get more. Those who chose one loop are just happy that they have less to deal with. Think about that. How are you going to teach your child to tie his/her shoes? Fuck it, dont! Get them slip-ons.

That thing that I said before about laides and coffee is only half true. Which half? Who knows? I do, I like pale, scrawny, white girls. Coffee though, my coffee has attitude. It's like Sam Jackson in Pulp Fiction. Probably not as good at foot massages though.